Posts tagged geek girls online

Abusive Expectations – Makes impossible demands, requires constant attention, and constantly criticizes.

Aggressing – Name calling, accusing, blames, threatens or gives orders, and often disguised as a judgmental “I know best” or “helping” attitude.

Constant Chaos – Deliberately starts arguments with you or others. May treat you well in front of others, but changes when you’re alone.

Rejecting – Refusing to acknowledge a person’s value, worth or presence. Communicating that he or she is useless or inferior or devaluing his or her thoughts and feelings.

Denying – Denies personal needs (especially when need is greatest) with the intent of causing hurt or as punishment. Uses silent treatment as punishment. Denies certain events happened or things that were said. Denies your perceptions, memory and sanity by disallowing any viewpoints other than their own which causes self-doubt, confusion, and loss of self-esteem.

Degrading – Any behavior that diminishes the identity, worth or dignity of the person such as: name-calling, mocking, teasing, insulting, ridiculing,

Emotional Blackmail – Uses guilt, compassion, or fear to get what he or she wants.

Terrorizing – Inducing intense fear or terror in a person, by threats or coercion.

Invalidation – Attempts to distort your perception of the world by refusing to acknowledge your personal reality. Says that your emotions and perceptions aren’t real and shouldn’t be trusted.

Isolating – Reducing or restricting freedom and normal contact with others.

Corrupting – Convincing a person to accept and engage in illegal activities.

Exploiting – Using a person for advantage or profit.

Minimizing – A less extreme form of denial that trivializes something you’ve expressed as unimportant or inconsequential.

Unpredictable Responses – Gets angry and upset in a situation that would normally not warrant a response. You walk around on eggshells to avoid any unnecessary drama over innocent comments you make. Drastic mood swings and outbursts.

Gaslighting -A form of psychological abuse involving the manipulation of situations or events that cause a person to be confused or to doubt his perceptions and memories. Gaslighting causes victims to constantly second-guess themselves and wonder if they’re losing their minds.

Love, Salem

kinkyturtle:

note-a-bear:

One of the things I keep thinking about wrt the UCSB shooting, and everything else like is this:

The line between acceptable violence against women and unacceptable violence is not near as wide as people want to think it is.

catcall women. control women. slap women. punch women. rape women. beat women. brutalize women. that’s fine. that’s all fine. smaller scale and all that. shoot women? shoot SEVERAL women? several WHITE women? after leaving multiple videos explicitly stating that you are killing women because you hate them? well, oh my gosh, what horrific violence.

let me tell you something about elliot rodger. men like him are everywhere. but they operate on a less grand scale. date rapists. abusers who beat their wives and girlfriends. the men on the street who call you a bitch. the men who accost you in bars. they all are operating on the same simple fucking premise:

they own our bodies. they are owed our bodies. and denying them what they see as rightfully theirs is grounds for punishment.

that’s it. it’s as simple as that. 

so tell me again. tell me again “not all men.” go the fuck ahead and do it. but know that every time you say to a woman who is afraid for her fucking life “not all men” you are turning a blind eye to the men who do. and you are enabling and condoning their violence with your fucking silence and your need to absolve yourself. 

A-FUCKING-MEN.

Every time I see someone say “I don’t have a problem with gay people, I just wish they’d quit shoving in my face!” I want to smack them for having a picture of them kissing their significant other and say “I don’t have a problem with straight people, I just want you to quit shoving it in my face”.

(And I know, I’m gonna get shit for saying “I want to smack them” but yea… the stupidity knows no bounds and sometimes a thwack to the head with a rolled up newspaper is all that will get through to people)